Train Toilet Design Flaw

There’s a lot written about good, bad and quite frankly appalling design in software. Having worked in software for a while I’ve got a degree of sympathy of how it occurs. Software developers aren’t evil misanthropes with a complete loathing of people in general and users in particular. OK, ok – some are exactly like that but that’s not why poorly designed software happens. Pressure to ship, corners cut on usability test and a design to focus on cool new technologies all contribute. But at least software can be patched, upgraded and fixed. What I find it harder to understand is when major pieces of real world kit have bizarre usability issues.

The worst offender is the new train toilets that are popping up in newer trains. Rather than a boring old mechanical lock that has served mankind well over the last 300 years the new toilet are locked by a series of flashing buttons. The sequence is

1. Enter toilet
2. Press flashing button to close
3. Wait till door shudders shut
4. Press a second button to lock it. There’s no indication that the door is locked so just cross your fingers and hope it is
5. Then pants down and away you go.

For God’s sake though don’t add an additional step of pressing the lock button again to make sure that it is locked. This has the amusing effect of reopening the door with no warning whatsoever. It’s design flaw of the year surely.

A Polish woman did exactly this when I was waiting my turn outside of a train toilet recently. I was rapidly faced with an alarmed looking Eastern European woman with her pants round her ankles. A special moment for us both I felt. The ties between Eastern and Western Europe become ever more intimate.

Podcats

I love a good podcast as I’ve previously alluded too. But even more I’m a big fan of pod cats and these are some of my favourite feline podded wonders.

Suburban Pod

Here Tiddles is modelling a modern stylish lightweight pod. Sleek, sophisticated, urban with a discrete pouch for the current murdered rodent du jour.

Travel Pod

A portable, practical self assembly pod for the busy feline about town. Scratch resistant with a wipe clean surface for those little kitty accidents.



Hygienic Pod
Felix is modelling the latest in robust, white porcelain pods with a kitty lid. Securely fixed to the floor of the littlest room in the house with a white plastic rim to facilitate easy entry and exit. We are please to announce that these model come with a handle activated Jacuzzi swimming pool. Just what your cat needs after a busy day at the office.

World War 2 Fighter Pod

Baron von Feline, scourge of the airways, models the latest in WW2 fighter pods. Features include three-blade constant-speed propeller, triple ejector exhaust manifolds and X80 HP Rolls-Royce Merlin II engine. Lethal in the wrong paws. Achtung Tiddles!!

Sennheiser Headphones and the Fire Brigade

I’ve recently purchased my second set of Sennheiser CX300 Eco Ear Canal Headphones so I thought it was about time I gave a little shout out for these headphones. I’m no audiophile but they’re the best headphones I’ve ever bought. Good sound reproduction, comfy, last a fair length of time and a nice eco wrapping rather than hermetically sealed in 15 layers of non-biodegradable nuclear plastic.

However simultaneous my most and least favourite quality is their oh so too good sound blocking. When I first bought these I was more used to less superior sound cancelling characteristics from my headphones. So much so, that when wearing them and letting myself into my old office I accidentally rearmed the security alarm system. Two bleeps instead of one are easy to miss with Sennheiser’s sound cancelling. I wandered nonchalantly upstairs to the office and couldn’t understand where the strange continuous siren was coming from. Cue anti-criminal smoke gushing out of some previously innocuous looking boxes and the entire office was in total whiteout.

One fire engine, four industrial fans and 60 minutes later and the office was final fit to be reoccupied. Thankfully I was working my notice at that company otherwise I would have had to resign in shame. Not my finest hour.

10 Great Podcasts

I’ve been listening to podcasts for over 3 years now. Most of my knowledge of the wider world seems to come from them these days. I LOVE them. Sooo, it seems about time that I share with an (almost certainly un)eager world what my favourites are. My faves are obviously skewed by my nationality (British – so there is a number of BBC ones) and interests (there’s no sport – I’m a geek for God’s sake) but caveats and disclaimers not withstanding – here’s the 10.

Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo’s Film Reviews
Film Reviews from the BBC
My favourite of them all. Dr Mark and Dr Simon argue and bicker give vitriolic opinions on this week’s film releases. Often controversial but never dull.

Stuart Maconie’s Freakzone
Alternative Music from the BBC
I’m a big music fan but not a big music podcast fan. Due to licensing restrictions you only get snippets of songs so it’s a bit frustrating. Even so – this is a podcast worth a listen. Full of freaky, bizarre obscurest artists that no-one’s ever heard. And if that’s not enough to whet your whistle then Justin Spear’s University of the Strange surely will. What’s not to like.

Money Talk from fool.co.uk
Personal Finance
I’ve a deep dark secret. I’ve a genuine interest in personal finance. For others with a similar affliction this is a great podcast. Informative and lively chat from the highly engaging David Kuo. A variety of topics means that even though you might not be interested in credit cards, the following week’ topic on mortgages might be just up your street.

Guardian Tech Weekly
Technology from the Guardian newspaper
I find a lot of technology podcasts very unsatisfying. They are dull or amateurish or juvenile or all three. This is one of the exceptions. A lively interchange from the current pod members – Aleks Krotoski, Bobby Johnson et. al. It’s got quite a big focus on gadgets but covers the current affairs and business stuff too.

Dilbert Animated Cartoons
Cartoons of course
The only video podcast (vodcast??) I subscribe too. Daily 10 second bursts of Dilbert, Dogbert and Wally. Nuff said.

Slate Political Gabfest
US Politics from Slate Magazine
My only US podcast. The ever liberal Slate team discuss American politics. I got into this for the election but it’s got a shelf life past that. Emily Bazelon is the star of the show here. It can get a bit low key if she isn’t there to liven things up but she’s a regular contributor so that hardly ever happens.

Wake Up To Money
Business News from the BBC
20 minutes of business news 5 days a week. I love it. Andy Verity and Micky Clarke present. Well balanced and informative even if Micky C is a bit of a 4 wheel drive loving right winger (as I’m sure I will be in the years to come). It’s been a bit gloomy recently since near total collapse of the capitalist system so a strong stomach is required at the moment. It will cheer up eventually I’m sure.

Dr Karl and the Naked Scientist
Science from the BBC
I don’t bother with the Naked Scientist bit but Dr Karl is great. Dr K answers late night science questions from various insomniac scientist wannabees. The questions range from the highly insightful to the deranged but Dr K answers them all with genuine good humour. Worth the listen for the inevitable loon who rings in claiming to have disproved the theory of relativity, gravity or evolution.

Philosophy: The Classics
Philosophy
From Plato to John Stuart Mills – it’s the history of western Philosophy delivered in 15 minutes bite sized chunks by Nigel Warburton. Why would you ever wade through 500 page 18th century philosophical tomes when Mr Warburton will summarise for you.

In Our Time
History of Ideas from the BBC
Take three professor types, add a spoonful of Melvyn Bragg and throw in a History/Science/Philosophy/Literature topic, mix around and deliver 40 minutes worth of cerebral chat. Intense cleverness in a pod – Lovely.

Sony Reader

A few weeks ago Mrs Tech Splurge and myself were have a coffee in Waterstones when I happened upon a stand of Sony’s new eBook – Sony Reader. Against all expectations I was impressed. It felt good in the hand, the screen was attractive and very like a book and the battery only appeared to drain on page refresh so would last for ages. However even though I’m a technology fan, was impressed by the product and I like a good book I still didn’t buy it. Why on earth not?

I believe that eBooks themselves are fundamentally flawed particularly as compared to MP3 players which must be the business model that Sony is trying to follow.

The Flaws

1. You need earlier adopters and tech evangelists to push your product. While geeky nerdy types will get excited about audio systems or home cinemas the enthusiasm for a home library system surely would be more muted


2. With music I’ve maybe got 20-30 CDs that I would regularly listen to. I can’t carry them all around with me so an MP3 player is the ideal solution. With books I’ve only maybe got 2-3 on the go at any one time. So picking one and carrying it round with me isn’t a fantastic hardship that cries out for a technological solution.


3. I would imagine that demographics of book readers includes a lot more older readers than music fans or film buffs. A decent proportion of these would be late adopters and outright refusers of new technologies.


4. If I was an author I wouldn’t licence my work for electronic distribution. As soon as it’s out there then I’ll be in the Peer2Peer copyright hell that musicians are currently dwelling in.

Even though the idea has flaws I don’t think it’s a stinker. It’s just more niche than Sony would probably want. There are a couple of circumstances when it would have real value.

Niches

1. I spend inordinate amounts of time deciding which books to bring on holiday. With an ebook reader – no problem, bring them all.


2. I like to have an IT book or two on the go but I’m not going to carry them round with me. However if they were nestled inside an ebook reader I might.


3. There is probably a good model for magazine subscriptions buried in the ebook reader. Throw in a bit of wireless connectivity (i.e. Kindle) and you could get an update of your favourite publication when you’re in Café Nero enjoying your mocha chocca double expresso latte.

Overall, I reckon that ebooks will never be the killer app and disruptive technology that MP3 players were. No matter how cutesy, leather bound and easy on the eye they become they’ll always remain a solution looking for a problem.

Mobile Phone Whisperer

It was a moving, almost spiritual moment. In a bustling, busy office a mobile phone begins to chirrup. It chirps, chirrups and cheeps and no-one answers. People look up and sigh but still the mobile phone bleats away. A young woman stands up and advances towards the phone. She leans towards the phone, puts her finger to her lips and shushes the phone. The phone ignores her. Undaunted the woman leans closer to the phone and shushes again. This time the phone listens and obeys. Its chirping ceases and the office once again can work in silence. The woman is a mobile phone whisperer.

Like the less interesting horse whisperer and ghost whisperer the mobile phone whisperer has a deep empathetic relationship, in this case with mobile technologies. So close it almost seems supernatural. If you are fortunate you may work near one of these special individuals. I urge you to pay attention, even homage to them and learn all you can about the ancient art of mobile phone whispering.